Snow Nfu
by Lyuna
Summary: Snow Nfu lives happily in the woods with his seven Dorks, until one day prince Ore-sama drops by for a visit.


Written a long time ago, when I felt the need to explore the wonderful world of Crack. Yeah. It's actually rather silly.

* * *

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (as these lands usually are, since wherever _you_ are the land isn't) there was a very pretty prince. So pretty, in fact, that his ego had swallowed the masses and made them follow him blindly. Of course, some were envious (like that obnoxious brat from Seishun Kingdom), but all in all Ore-sama, as he liked to call himself led a very comfortable life, surrounded by his most trusted lackeys. Well. At least two of them were most trusted. The others were just present for eye candy, should ore-sama be indispensable because of some reason. Though recently he had thought about kicking Shishido out… the boy had chopped his hair off and wasn't _pretty_ at all anymore. But then Ohtori would cry and leave and Hiyoshi would think his Gekokujou-blabbering had worked and he was the reason they were gone and his ego would inflate and come closer to the size of ore-sama's… no, that was not an option. So ore-sama continued as it was, bearing the eyesore Shishido had become.

Of course, being the valued Prince of Hyoutei Kingdom, he also possessed a magic mirror. because, let's face it, who but ore-sama would be worthy such a thing? So daily he stood before it, asking "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, who is the fairest of them all?"

Usually the Mirror on the Wall would then reply "'Tis you", but tonight he was annoyed. he hadn't been polished all week, and that Mukahi person had almost knocked him off the wall while jumping around like crazy to impress Oshitari. He could have _broken_, but of course no one had cared. At all. So, instead he answered "Prince, you are full and fair, 'tis true, but Snow Nfu~ is fairer than you" Ore-sama fumed. And thus set out to find this Snow Nfu~ person and awe him with his prowess.

-

Meanwhile, in some forest, somewhere in Hyoutei Kingdom, in some deserted hut, Snow Nfu~ was having wild, untamed sex with his own personal six Dorks.

-cough- I mean… erm.. –clears throat-

The narrator would like to retain she never let that slip. Because Snow Nfu~ would be slightly upset and might unleash his collection of purple sweaters on the narrator. Right. Moving on.

Meanwhile, in some forest, somewhere in Hyoutei Kingdom, in some deserted hut, Snow Nfu~ was busy cleaning the floor from last night's orgy, dancing around, singing a song he had seen in some American musical recently. Atsudork liked doing it to foreign musicals (though it always made Shindork and Kanedork complain).  
"_I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and GAAAAY_…" he sung, with all his might. Unfortunately Akazadork had not yet fully recovered from last night's and plopped his head out of his room.

"Be quiet, or I'll use the ball-gag for something else than kink play." he growled. Snow Nfu~ "nfu'ed~", sauntering over to Akazadork and dragging him back into his room. They would use the ball-gag alright, he decreed.

-

Of course, Ore-sama was not prepared for the sight that greeted him upon his arrival at the hut (he had _not_ gotten lost on his way there. They had just.. taken a scenic route. Through the forest. With lots of bushes and barely any scenery to speak of. Really.). He had thought the mere sight of ore-sama would have made Snow Nfu~ swoon, but it appeared he was otherwise occupied (with a person named, he later found out, Nomudork).

Nonetheless it could not dissuade Ore-sama from his goal. He jumped off his horse, cape swaying behind him elegantly (how he did that all of his lackeys kept wondering, but he never told), swept Snow Nfu~ (unclothed as he was) up from the ground and gracefully dumped him over his saddle, to be taken to his own, private, secluded little (huge) pleasure chamber in the depths of the castle his father had given him for his 16th birthday.

Of course Snow Nfu~ complained at first (his skin would be abraded if he did that!), but later ore-sama showed him how to properly appreciate ore-sama's attention.

And thus they fucked happily ever after (and even happier after Snow Nfu~ was allowed to bring his six Dorks to the castle, too).


End file.
